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VILLAGE CRYPT: DEVIN TOWNSEND - Ziltoid the Omniscient

3/27/2019

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Here at the Village, we keep our most revered albums in....a very special place. Without further ado, let Loveloth take you on a 4th dimensional journey into the Village Crypt. ​

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With Strapping Young Lad and The Devin Townsend Band disbanded due to being burnt out and becoming a father, Devin stepped out of the spotlight and spent time with his family to clean up mentally. After releasing his second solo ambient record The Hummer, he wanted to create something truly by himself and so the fourth dimensional Ziltoid The Omniscient was born. Sporting his famed skullet (that's literally his hair) and inspired by Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal, Ziltoid represents a sober, stable Devin and marks a new chapter in his amazing career and... wait a second, do you smell this? sniffs Is that... coffee? Huh, anyways, this is a concept reco... oh shit, just a second dear reader, someone is trying to break in!
sci-fi sounds, sounds of struggle and yelling followed by silence


Well, it seems we have a visitor who is pointing a very 80's looking space gun at my face so I'll read the text he gave to me: clears throat...

"Greetings hu-mans, I am Ziltoid The Omniscient and I've come far across the omniverse. You shall fetch me your universe's ultimate cup of coffee: black. You have five Earth minutes. Make it perfect!"

Loveloth: Ok, that's a bit excessive dude and I am in a middle of something AND I can only make French coffee, besides, I am more of a tea person nowadays. Why are you in my flat and threatening to deconstruct me into oblivion?

Ziltoid The Omniscient: You three dimensional fool! How dare you set terms with me, the fourth dimensional Ziltoid The Omniscient? You should cower in fear yet you have the gall to oppose me?? What are you doing anyways little hu-man?

Loveloth: Was writing a review about you before you barged in, oh terrible and exalted one.

ZTO: Oh, is that so? I shall then observe you creating your "review" and interject if I find fitting and no, you have no say here hu-man! Proceed. Uuh, nice portrait of me, put it here!

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Loveloth: Fine... and thank you, oh mighty one... As I was saying, Ziltoid The Omniscient is a concept album about this majestic creature that is currently rummaging my living room and everything you hear on this record (apart from the additional voices) is Devin's doing, and that includes the drums which he programmed in Ezdrummer that was given to him by a guy named Fredrik Thorendal, who plays in an underground band called Meshuggah, so you can expect complete and utter madness. And utter madness we get as Ziltoid is zany, funny, thought-provoking and a complete blast to listen to. After the Danny Elfman-meets-death metal opener "ZTO", we are thrust in "By Your Command", an eight minute, intense epic where theatrics and brutality clash in spectacular fashion. This, being the first "proper" track, features all the ingredients you'll come across during this insane voyage. Complex drumming, intricate and heavy as hell guitar chugs, flashy, mind-bending solos, sweep picks, arpeggios, dialogues between characters, calm and emotional sections and Devin firing at all cylinders. His vocal performance here is one of his finest as he growls, screams, sings, talks and confidently guides you through this amazing shit-show.

ZTO: Indeeeed. I shall interject hu-man as you seem to be forgetting one very important matter. I am the greatest guitar player ever to have lived!

Loveloth: Oh yes that, thanks for reminding me Zilty--he looks at me with one eyebrow up. K, not gonna do that again--The whole premise of this record is Zilty..oid, who craves black coffee, which is fuel for time travel but after hu-mans deliver him a "fetid" cup of it, he launches an invasion where he will take over the planet by presenting himself as the ultimate guitar hero and steal all the coffee he needs via mindcontrol and his lackies. His sinister ploy works, but Captain Spectacular sets out to expose Ziltoid for what the truly is: a nerd. In order to achieve this, Spectacular needs help from the fifth dimensional hive mind Nebulowe-nine or N9 for short. The plot thickens but I think you get the point: this is cheesy, over-the-top, self-aware yet intriguing, deep and booting absolutely sensational music.

Each track is crucial to the story but none reach filler status, even the "Omnidimensional Creator" which is basically 48 seconds of Ziltoid and OC conversing but it's simply so entertaining and intruiging that you're hard pressed to skip it and I never do.

ZTO: farts Bahahaha! Good one, if I do say so myself!The fart I mean. Put this portrait here too or I'll disintegrate you!

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Loveloth: There, dick. 

ZTO: What did you say? Speak hu-man!

Loveloth: Umm, nothing, glorious one. Anyways, the two tracks that follow, "Color Your World" and "The Greys" are gorgeous, expansive and one of Devin's crowning achievements. "The Greys" in particular, touches on something I've been struggling with for a long time and I am fairly certain a lot of you are as well. As for the production, well, its stellar, the vocals sit beneath the guitars which have a wonderful crunchy, deep tone and everything is layered wonderfully but you can really hear the drums were programmed. With all these positives listed, the only flaw I can think of (apart from the drums) is that some could disregard this whole record due to its silly nature and narrative but that comes down to personal preference. I've come to the point where I can always listen to Ziltoid The Omniscient and enjoy myself, even if I know the dialogue bits by heart but I can completely understand if they'll bug you on repeated listens.

ZTO: Finish this and bring me coffee, as you've already wasted five minutes but I am feeling benevolent and frisky today hu-man!

Loveloth: Yeah yeah coming. In case you couldn't tell, I truly love this record and consider it one of music's crowning achievements and only Devin is capable of creating something so cheesy yet captivating, unbelievably fun and impressive, all at the same time. And whoever says comedy and metal don't go together, listen to this.
In (not so) short, Ziltoid is a must hear in my book and I am truly sorry for this mess, really didn't expect HIM coming here. That's four dimensional beings for ya. Onwards to coffee making, pray it works or otherwise we're doomed! Ta-ta!

ZTO: waves and laughs maniacally

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